Recovered the Fumble, with Injuries

comments: 93


Okay, I'm not completely sure how it is that the two full-grown adult caretakers of this adorable, innocent little puppers keep landing on the ground while trying to take care of her, but it went something like this:

We had been out for a quick walk on a lovely Sunday afternoon and had just returned home. Across the street, several people were helping a neighbor move, two other people were packing another car, and our other neighbor was sitting on his porch reading. Andy was holding Clover, standing inside the screen door and trying to unlock the front door. I was looking at the porch chair, blathering on about how I did not understand why every time I looked at that chair it was always crooked, on an angle blocking the door, etc., etc., who was moving it, etc.

Suddenly, right behind me, I hear a commotion and turn and see six-foot-three Andy fumbling Clover, a quivering coil of muscle and wiggle, who has apparently spooked and is suddenly trying to climb on top of his head and neck while he is unlocking the door. Grabbing at her wildly, he sinks down, apparently in an attempt to get closer to the ground but loses balance and is about to fall over, headfirst, into the door. I stretch and reach for Clover, who is headed south over Andy's back, scrambling for dear life. I manage to get her just fine, but lose my balance while the screen door is closing on me and fall on top of Andy who, at the moment of my size-16 impact, screams,


and falls to the ground as his knee goes east. I place Clover on the aforementioned chair and with a total lack of coordination but a lot of speed (think: panicking manatee) clamber off of Andy in complete horror as I see him clutching his knee and grimacing in pain.

I cannot express how loud all of this was, and how long it all seemed to take, between the chair skidding and the door banging and the yelling in agony. I can only imagine what all nine completely random people within thirty feet of this spectacle — normally, no one is ever out there but squirrels, of course, until we decide to fall down — were thinking as two large adults and a small puppy went rolling around shouting on the front porch all while simply trying to get into the house. We did not turn around to look as somehow we managed to unlock the front door and then fall through it into the living room. Andy was sort of laughing and crying in pain at the same time. After asking him hysterically fourteen times if he was okay (he said yes, ish), I put the puppers down (she was just fine) and ran upstairs and threw water on my face, feeling awful, trying not to cry, trying not to laugh, trying to remember which knee he had surgery on a few years ago. Somehow Andy and Clover came upstairs and we all laid on the bedroom floor, nervously laughing so hard tears rolled down my cheeks and I got a stomach ache. Andy was like, "Dude, I don't even know what happened!" and I was like, "Dude I'm so sorry! I didn't even know what was happening!" It was all so absurd. Just picturing it would send either of us into a fit of doubled-over laughter for the rest of the night and into this morning; just writing it and thinking about it again now makes the giggles bubble up again. I keep imagining our neighbor Scott across the street, looking up from his book, surely thinking, "What the hell are those two up to now?" I really regret that no one was filming this because, as a consummate fan of America's Funniest Home Videos, I feel quite sure that this one would've won us the ten grand, which would've helped us pay for the knee surgery we both worry is fairly imminent, as, even this morning, the knee is messed up.

So, to the doctor. Last time it was the other knee, hurt while running for the bus.

Phooey. I feel really bad. I recovered the fumble but totally sacked my quarterback. He was wearing his Bears jersey, too (Sunday uniform).

Poor knee. Poor Andy. I think that's called "taking one for the team." I am so sorry, honey. 


Well at least Clover didn't get hurt!

P.S. You knew somebody was going to say that, and I just had to be the onw.

P.S. You knew somebody was going to say that, and I just had to be the onw.

I am not sure that this was supposed to be as funny as it was (sorry about your knee Andy) but I was laughing so hard while reading this- tears were streaming down my face!!

I am sharing the tears through laughter, mixed with some confusion as I try to figure out *what* did happen? Mercy. I am going to stop questioning my husband about how he managed to injure his knee taking a weird step during tennis... it seems weird events injure knees. Watch that gravity, and be well.

Oh no!! It is funny to me how these horrible things seem to happen in slllooooowwwwww motion. I am so sorry this happened to you guys. I'm sure Clover was thinking the whole time "What are these humans doing?" LOL! I'm glad you all recovered and hope Andy's knee isn't too out of whack.

Diane from Baltimore

Oh Alicia,
Your accounting of this incident is priceless. I can so relate to the slow motion. I am laughing and crying at your story all at the same glad you all survived and managed to keep your senses of humor.
Hugs to all,

Oh Alicia,
Your accounting of this incident is priceless. I can so relate to the slow motion. I am laughing and crying at your story all at the same glad you all survived and managed to keep your senses of humor.
Hugs to all,

Oh my! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed that this morning. A good laugh and a little perspective. Thank you for turning my bad Monday morning around. I'm much better now. :)

I have tears rolling down my cheeks, as I have never laughed so hard! I'm sorry Alicia, but you painted quite the picture and I can only imagine and well, I have this sickness where I laugh when people fall down in stange ways... and it tickled me to no end. But I was also very concerned, but humored none the less.
When I was a senior in high school, I spent a semester assisting the P.E. teacher in a class of awkward Junior High girls and I would have to leave the gym when one of them clumsily fell down.

Bless you that sounds like something I would do - lost count of the falls I had whilst that cats were babies. I manage to fall every time I go out socialising - quite a party trick of mine - the most spectacular was an argument I had with a shopping trolley with it's wheels locked, at 3am - I am still injured from June!

I'm sorry, but I couldn't help laughing at your misfortune! What a spectacle. Must have been a sight to see, but seriously, I hope everything is okay with Andy's knee. Will you have to invest in a good pair of knee pads for him to wear from now on? hee hee.

Maybe you can just pretend that Andy's knee went out as he opened the door and that is what caused the whole incident. Knees have a way of doing that. that would be my story anyway. LOL

I love the Manatee image!

Ah, Teddy and I (he a 10-week Schnoodle, me an aging "bigger than size 16" over the hiller) had a similar experience. Except we had already gotten into the house and walking into the kitchen when he decided to leap out of my arms. I fumbled trying to grab him before he hit the floor and managed to turn and twist him a bit before he landed with a thud on top of the kitchen trash can and I crashed through the baby gate. I have bruises that look as though I was in a prize fight!

I'm surprised we didn't have to get some kind of certification of agility before they gave us our pups!! Glad Clover managed to survive unscathed. And what a sweet picture of her today!


OMG...I'm going to wet my pants. At work nonetheless! This is hysterical. Thank you. I needed that today. (glad you are all ok)

Elizabeth Mackey says: October 29, 2007 at 10:00 AM

Hahahahahahaha.....Isn't it super funny when big people fall. I should say,it is funny only when there are no serious injuries to follow. I did one a while back that if I think about it to this day I would start laughing all over again. I decided to race my girls to the mail box. Not a good idea since.A: I'm not a runner and B: I have hip dysplasia. Our driveway was rough gravel also. I go running like a mad woman,then my legs seize up. I then go sliding on my stomach with dirt and gravel flying in all directions. My husband turns around and sees a cloud of dust,me lying on the driveway like I slid into home base and my kids gasping in shock that their mom didn't die from the fall!! Oh, and my purse was still on my shoulder perfectly . I was lying there laughing my head off and shocked myself that I didn't even have any scratches on me!!
So, when I read your post I started laughing and remembering all the funny tumbles I have had.Thanks for a giggle on a Monday morning!!

LOL well that truly is a 10 000 moment. Puppies are precious that way. I do hope Andy's knee is okay though! I wish him all the best!

Oh, my. I hope you are both OK!!

OMIGAWD ALICIA ~~~~~~~~~~~ That is so freaking hilarious, I'm still crying, no no, laughing, no no, crying & laughing at the same time. . . . . what a visual!!! Glad all three of you are relatively OKAY!!!

That's funny and I'm glad you guys could laugh about it later. Once I was carrying our pup, Rocco, down the stairs when he kind of leapt and I made a wild grasp to catch him and fell down about five steps, landing at the bottom, and severly twisting my ankle. But I was holding up precious Rocco while I starting crying in pain. He looked at me like "What's the fuss about?"

OH! That really was funny - the retelling, anyway! "Panicking manatee"-heeheehee! I feel like I can honestly laugh at that since I can so totally see my own size 16 self doing the same sort of wild-eyed wallowing scramble trying to get up, too. I do hope Andy's knee isn't seriously hurt. Thanks for the giggle!

Poor Andy! Poor you! And in his jersey no less. Crossing fingers over here that no surgery is needed.

OHHH! got the face woulda been beet red!!!....I 'm a klutz and have been known to fall a few
(several) times in my day as well...usually ends with me laughing hysterically and saying nooooooooooooo! as I seemingly, fall in slow motion and try not to land my size __, erh, on the dogs. Anyway, dogs clambering over me with tails wagging and tongues licking , taking care of me and oblivious to the fact that they! caused the fall......sorry about the lots of ice might help it...

I got the giggles from your story remembering some of my own "fumbles". I promised to let you know how the auction went for our local Meals on Wheels in which I made your Tiramisu blanket. It was placed in a basket with several other small items. Anyways, it made over $80...I didn't get to see the final bid. So thank you for helping me help feed some needy people in our area! This will help feed over 16 me warm tingles all over. Now to figure out what I will make for next year's auction...maybe something from your soon to be published book?!!

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About Alicia Paulson


My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at