Rain Rain

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Rain, rain. In the early mornings, before it is light, we all lay in the big bed with the windows wide open and the heated mattress pad turned on. The rain falls on the leaves, a constant tip-tapping. The breeze is cold and wet but we are warm. Amelia rests her cheek on my belly. I stroke her back and her tiny fingernails stroke my arm. I dare not move lest she move. I want her to stay. There are pillows and pets in every space. We talk about buying a little cabin in the woods near the mountain, so she can grow up with trees and pine needles and wood smoke and the sounds of the mountain creek, with snow in the winter and ski poles and snowshoes, with campfires in summer, sleepovers in the panelled loft, wildflowers in a jar on the windowsill next to her bed, sunlight filtered through the endless trees, sand on the floor where she puts her bare feet. I want that for her, for us. I pull out the computer in the dark and check the real-estate listings. The screen glows with moss-covered Forest Service cabins. This one has a porch. This one has a river-rock fireplace. This one is awful. They ruined it. This one would be perfect. Dream. She sleeps and breathes. My hands on her small body, feeling her breathe in the dark before rain-dawn.

We can't complain about the weather, when so much of the country is suffering, but it is cold and again cold, and sopping wet. It feels like green winter. Andy says that people have big gardens here because it makes you appreciate the rain; the gardens are happy, and that makes you happy. But for the cold. Everything is drenched and glistening, heavy with flowers. The peonies slump in the yard. The grass is half-drowned. The pavement is dark and shiny. I check the beet seeds daily. Chioggia and Bull's Blood. Nothing yet. It's Friday, the end of a long week. I imagine myself crawling under the duvet cover at the end of the day and watching my TiVo-ed episodes of Nigella Forever Summer. As soon as I turn on my side, I'll be asleep. If I have time tomorrow, I'll make some frothy dresses for Amelia. Clothes like summer flowers, to wear when it gets warm.

99 comments

you are just gorgeous, in every which way. (I'm the first commenter today! this has never happened. do I get a prize?!)

cynthia says: May 24, 2013 at 08:59 AM

you make everything sound so idyllic. it rained in illinois a lot last week. back in omaha now, the sun is shining. rain in the forecast. i, too, would like a home with birdsong and not a whole lot of neighbors. *sigh*

Your descriptions make me feel like I'm right there with you. I live in Portland, too, and am glad my garden is happy, but I'm tired of being cold. Love your 'green winter' description.

The cabin sounds heavenly! I vote yes!

nothing prettier than peonies in the rain, and nothing cuter than a little girl getting snuggled :O)

We've had oodles of rain in the UK lately, and I love it. I'm a lone voice though, everyone else moans about it! Not me!

Oh it sounds so lovely to me. That dream of your cabin is beautifully written and makes me want one too.
What an ideal childhood sounds like to me.
She is so lucky to have you as her mama.
Enjoy the cold and rain for me.
PS. it looks like Amelia is floating in the window so funny!
Amy

I got my maggie rabbit kit in the mail yesterday! I read through the instructions last night before I went to bed. Can't wait to get started!
-rachel in Minnesota

If only you could send the rain our way!
Enjoy the daydreams and cabin wishes... something tells me
wishes will come true... you seem to have a gift for creating
the spaces you envision. Happily, we get to share in the beauty
of your gifts.

oh goodness, this all sounds very dreamy.

Beautiful, beautiful post! A little cabin in the woods sounds so lovely ♥ Cold and damp here today ~ 53 degrees and the rain is coming. How wonderfully cozy your home looks xo

I wish we had some rain. There is a wildfire near my home today and I don't want to be outdoors. I hope you get that cabin someday, you would be so happy there.

A cabin the woods sounds lovely. Our dream is a small old gingerbread cottage, with transom windows and arched doorsways, close to the beach. Not too much to ask for, right?!
I hope if you do check out cabins you show pics - would love to see your decorating style in a cabin.

Patti H. says: May 24, 2013 at 10:29 AM

You are such a beautiful writer. "There are pillows and pets in every space." LOVE. My beautiful daughter, Marielle, is 14 years old. We homeschool and when my husband leaves early for work, most mornings I nudge her out of her bed into ours and we snuggle with our dog, Maggie and cat, Charlie. I snuggle with her just like I did when she was still a babe. There are pillows and pets and a beautiful girl in every space. It is the sweetest, most sacred part of my day. Your Amelia is the most beautiful girl. I hope you get your cabin. Love from Livonia, Michigan.

We are also having much rain. And tomorrow will be only 45 - 50 degrees! Where is that coming from? Still, Montana had snow, I hear.

Surely things will dry up soon.

Oh, that baby Mimi is just a chunk of kissable! Luckily, internet kisses are neither creepy nor germy. *kiss kiss kiss*

LOVE that pic of Mimi peeking through the window! Your dream is of a cabin, mine is of a trailer....so we can drive and see all the naturey spots I've always wanted to see and not have to pause to find a bathroom. :) And I want to to be cozy and snug and shabby chic decorated.

I hear you about the rain/cold. It was so chilly this week (I'm above you one state up, we've been turning the heat back on in the AM and I'm regretting my decision to take the flannels off of the beds......)

I just love your pictures, thank you so much for sharing!

Yep.. rain.. I wish you could get that cabin you stayed in last time, it was gorgeous. We live on 4 acres here in Corbett and have a forest outside our bedroom French doors. I look out the kitchen window and it's our pasture up a hill and then sky. Out the dining room windows ar ferns and the trunk of a 80 foot tall Douglas fir. And it's green and mossy everywhere I look.. while we are warmed by the fire of our pellet stove. It works for me. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

This post was so refreshing to read. I too dream of log cabins in the woods for my little ones, and of course myself. *sigh* Enjoy the rain and the sewing...

Isn't being a Mama the best? I love those sweet moments. Yesterday I sat down to cuddle my 13 month old gorgeous boy, and he fell asleep in my arms. He rarely does that anymore. It was pure heaven. I sat there for half an hour and just stared at him, and stroked his soft blond hair. Bliss. I'm so happy for you.

It all sounds so wonderful to me! Your peonies are lovely, even though they are heavy with rain drops. And your porch is so pretty with the cosy, red chairs and fresh plants! Enjoy your weekend and spend lots of time snuggling with that sweet baby girl!

Cozy. What a beautiful garden you have. Amelia is the darling-est girl! How sweet to see her wearing the dress you crocheted! Lucky girl to have such a crafty mama! By the way, would love to know where the plush bunny came from. Its fur looks so soft and realistic.

I so love the way you write and the colours and warmth of your photos!AriadnefromGreece!

Jocelyn says: May 24, 2013 at 11:56 AM

Your peonies are gorgeous! They're my very favorite flower & unfortunately our winter was so mild I don't think mine will bloom at all this year. But I'm patient. Hopefully in time I'll get beautiful blooms! :)

Again, she looks even cuter than the last post!

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About

My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at aliciapaulson.com

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Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.