Decembery

comments: 260

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The past seven weeks have flown by like a team of reindeer racing through the night sky. Everyone said that would happen and everyone was so right. Amelia is so big and beautiful. Each day she is more like a baby and less like a newborn. Something else I didn't know about infants is how much personality they have, even in these early days. I laugh so many times a day at the funny things she does. She frequently seems to me as if she is auditioning for a play. The expressions that cross her face in rapid succession (we burst out laughing at how quickly they change) suggest that she is trying on every character in an already-vast repertoire of characters. There's happy baby, mad baby, worried baby, quizzical baby, curious baby, peaceful baby, hand-wringing baby (that's my favorite — the weensy hands wringing while she's sucking madly at her bottle as if it's the last bottle on earth), wise baby (that's little lips pursed into a perfect circle), silly baby, blissed-out baby, Maggie baby (that's sucking on her pacifier, like Maggie Simpson), I-got-this baby, which is all confidence and happens when she's holding her head up, and what-was-THAT! baby, when she sees something she just cannot believe.

Oh my dearest, sweetest dear girl. I spend hours sitting and just watching her breathe in my arms. She holds my finger. Her fingers play with my arm. I kiss her eyelids and trace snowflakes on her cheeks, wedge my nose into her warm neck. Sometimes I have to go out by myself to get some stuff done and then, alone in the car, driving my old familiar routes out to the post office, the fabric store, over the little mountain whose village-like view I like to treat myself to in every season, I usually cry a little bit, thinking about everything that came before, how hard it was, and how hard some things are, and how tender life is, for everyone. Everyone you meet. December, with its fog and dark trees, and delicate branches waving in the cold, and its white berries hanging heavy from wire-thin black branches waving in the cold, makes me feel soft and tearful. I wind the car through the trees. The cold air smells of cedar. The route is old but I am new. I hurry to return home even though I'm trying to go slow, to let myself go slow enough to feel it all, to settle into every mile of this journey. Every season of this life. This glowing, golden gift.

260 comments

Oh, she's growing up so fast. She's beautiful and we so look forward to updates.

Your words bring tears to my eyes...I am only a few years older than you..and I am a grandmother. I had my daughter at 18..I cant believe how the years have flown by..Amelia is so perfectly sweet and chubby cheeked! Makes me wish I still had a baby girl to hold..XXXXOOOO

You're so beautiful Alicia,
as lucky and blessed as you are to have her, know that she will certainly feel the same for you and Papa. you're the beautiful kind of parents that melt little kid hearts and widen their eyes with joy (trust me, mine are growing and it blows my mind to have this great love returned)
xo

She's so cute. And look how well she poses for the camera. Such a beautiful little girl. And I do love the way you dress her.

I'm so happy for you.

Thank you for your words and pictures. And for sharing your honest appreciation and true love.

People say " Enjoy the time" ..... But, You really are........sooooo wonderful! xox

Amelia is so pretty, and growing so much. Where do you get those adorable shoes?!

I feel so lucky that you take time from your sweet babymoon to give little updates to your world-wide circle of friends. Thank you so much!

...how tender life is ...
Yes! Exactly. Thank you for your wonderful words and beautiful pictures.

I love reading your blog - your photos, your words. Perfect.

You captured it perfectly with your words and photos as usual. :) It's a bittersweet feeling this season brings sometimes. How wonderful to have such a beautiful baby to help balance and joy.

Cherish the moments,each and every one. They are a gift. And how very blessed you are. All this good makes the rough times bearable. I have 7children. Four are mine,two are step,and one little girl is in heaven. Hold on to these moments. I know you are. ;) Thankyou for sharing. Your life,and your heart.
Blessings,
Christina

Look at how bright eyed she is ... oh and look at that wonderful head of hair ... Amelia I hope you like your picture taken sweetheart because none of us want to miss a moment of your wonderful life and yes it will be a wonderful life indeed : D

Lovely. Thank you.

Everytime I click over to your blog, I'm overcome with happiness. Happiness that another baby is being showered with love and attention and handmade gifts from her mama. You say and show things in such a peaceful and thankful way. Congratulations again - every day.

You are wonderful. What a wonderful writer! You are so great at stringing together exactly the right words. Amelia is so lucky to have you as her mom. I wish I could be there on that day in the future when she reads all these thoughts of yours. I'd love to see her take them in. Thank you for all of this.

She is beautiful, and I am so happy for you all.

Kathleen Bourne says: December 04, 2012 at 11:40 AM

Thank you for your words and pictures--gifts for all of us.

Your writing makes me tear up. So wonderful. I still find my self crying in the car as i drop my boy off at school and am alone on the journey home. It feels so strange to be without him by my side all day.
Amy

NO WAY!!! We called our pacifiers Maggies when my children were babies. They are now 15, 12 and 7! I am so glad you are calling it a Maggie. I'm going to cry!

This is beautiful. Your words touch me like no other, and that first darling photo of your girl in her blue with red dress made my breath catch. How true that life is by turns hard and tender and sweet and joyous for everyone, and the presence of the valley makes the peak that much more majestic.

I am so happy for you. A million congratulations. Your beautiful words reminded me of My Darling Child by Sinead O'Connor. I used to listen to that and rock my baby.

I'm still going through the hard times but your recent entries give me hope.

I am grinning from ear to ear. SO happy for you and Andy and your sweet blessed girl.

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About

My name is Alicia Paulson
and I love to make things. I live with my husband and daughter in Portland, Oregon, and design sewing, embroidery, knitting, and crochet patterns. See more about me at aliciapaulson.com

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Since August of 2011 I've been using a Canon EOS 60D with an EF 18-200mm kit lens and an EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro lens.